While a very personal story the following website “popped up” while researching an entirely separate subject:
https://www.weremember.com/dolly-zufelt-olsen/2y0m/memories
Calling on the strengths of those who came before us would capture the theme of the accompanying post. Three members of my family are all in the test stages of potential cancer diagnosis’s. The link above, while seemingly found by accident, led to the remembrance of THE most impactful influencer in my life’s spiritual journey. May her memory contribute to the peace and healing of all who read this.
Gramma Zufelt/Olson was my Mother’s mother. Living in Colorado afforded little opportunity to experience the person she was but, somehow, she played a major role in shaping my personal journey through life.
Two images/stories arise in memory. The first was in Pagosa Springs, CO at age 12 or 13. Gramma wore the Mormon clothes and carried the countenance of a one who lived the word of her bible in a strict and somewhat intimidating way. I remember being a little afraid of her.
Perhaps 8 to 10 years later I was privileged to silently witness what I’ve come to view as the transformation from living the word of her religion to living the spirit of it. All the extensive family was gathering at her home in Mesa, AZ but no other adults were present as she sat in her rocker in the kitchen. Leaning on a doorway into the kitchen I watched her for nearly an hour delighting in “experiencing” a horde of grand and great-grand children playing around her.
As time passed I found myself in amazement as she interacted with one child or another. Love, pure love, just streaming/radiating from her eyes. One or another of the children would seek “Gramma’s love” for some hurt or just attention. Each one was met with a gaze that conveyed “You are the only person in the Universe that exists for me right now”. Each one returned to play boosted by Gramma’s “love fix”.
I found myself drawn to seek out a love fix of my own, approaching Gramma and finding an instant where I was the ONLY person in her universe. Her light gray eyes outlined in a perfect black trim will never be forgotten. It felt like those eyes could look directly into my soul, like she could see the good, past the bad and still love me unconditionally.
Later, as I returned to leaning on the doorway a thought crossed my mind “How does she deal with all this chaos of children screeching, crying, crawling up in her lap for a fix, how does she do it? It was then the life changing image occurred, one carried the entirety of my adult life. She leaned her head back in her rocker and closed her eyes. It lasted only a few seconds but I witnessed her face change to total peace. She went “Somewhere” that wasn’t understood then. A small beautific grin stilled across her mouth, what I now call the “Buddha Grin”. She returned seemingly refreshed back to pure delight in just watching her grandchildren play.
Years later in my search for that place this image came into my mind. It was the only time I could testify to witnessing someone “touching” God, God touching someone. I wanted that peace the moment it was witnessed. That image carried me on that very personalized and individual journey to the discovery of my own “Place”. She is still with me, that image, whenever life calls to seek out stillness. The appearance of my own “Buddha Grin” was/is the gift that keeps on giving.
Thank you Gramma. I love you.
Velda Rose Carman’s son, Frank